What if this opportunity for movement, this workout, or this meal was your last for an undetermined amount of time? How would you move, lift, or eat knowing you could be unexpectedly bedridden?

“Treat every moment as your last. It is not preparation for something else.” -Shunryu Suzuki 

My health is stable now but this pattern of thinking grew in years after my Chiari diagnosis, flare-ups were unpredictable and could take me offline for days. 

Debilitating episodes of vertigo with migraines began shortly after my 40th birthday and ultimately I was diagnosed with a Chiari malformation of the cerebellum. With the help of a good neurologist, I found a medication that minimizes the episodes but I was unable to workout for a year and had some trepidation about beginning a new program. 

The stars aligned when I found Junko, pilates sessions helped me regain strength and balance. Several years of pilates had me comfortable enough to restart fitness classes where I gradually worked back to lifting heavier weights. Weight lifting felt good for my body, I hadn’t lifted heavy since my early 20’s but I quickly remembered why I enjoyed the process. 

I’ve always been athletic and I like competition. Local powerlifting competitions are relatively easy to enter so I hired a coach in May 2022 and competed for the first time in October of that year at age 49. I was hooked and actually registered for my second meet before I completed the first! 

Competitive athletics at my age with a chronic health condition requires modifications in many areas of life. I train 4 days a week, usually 1-2 hours at a time. Sleep and nutrition have to be a priority when I’m putting my body thru the stress of lifting heavy. When I get too little sleep or have a few meals out over the weekend, I can feel a difference in my training. It’s very different than 25 years ago!

I’m currently preparing for my 6th competition and my goal is to qualify for Nationals in 2025, in the Masters 50-54 age group. 

Sometimes I get frustrated and it’s difficult not to think what if…? What if I were able to start this sport 10 years earlier? What if I didn’t have a chronic illness? 

My body forced me to take a break and looking back, the time I spent away from competitive athletics was so important. I pushed myself too hard in my 20’s and 30’s and often for the wrong reasons. Being forced to slow down and rebuild with Pilates put me in touch with my body on a different level. I fixed old movement patterns and built strength in a way that wouldn’t have been possible if I didn’t take a time out. 

This knowledge allows me to approach powerlifting in a different, healthier way. I’m still competitive (and get angry when I don’t win!) but the process is just as important end result. I love feeling strong and seeing progress in my lifts but I have more grace when things move slowly. Being in touch with my body allows me to approach something from a different angle when one method isn’t working. 

Healing your body is never just physical, learning to recalibrate mentally is a big part of the journey.